


Pussyfooting Around

by Rrrowr



Series: A Non Calm Situation [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Animal Transformation, Crack Treated Seriously, M/M, Metafiction, catboy!stiles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-26
Updated: 2013-02-26
Packaged: 2017-12-03 16:16:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/700184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rrrowr/pseuds/Rrrowr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles wakes up in someone’s backyard. He is ashamed to say that it is not the first time that this has happened to him (Scott’s) nor the most recent (Lydia’s), but it is the first time that he’s woken up naked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pussyfooting Around

**Author's Note:**

  * For [daunt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/daunt/gifts).



> Originally posted [here](http://rrrowr.tumblr.com/post/35472759068) on tumblr.

Stiles wakes up in someone's backyard. He is ashamed to say that it is not the first time that this has happened to him (Scott's) nor the most recent (Lydia's), but it is the first time that he's woken up _naked_. In his rush to orient himself and escape for home, he utterly fails to realize a few critical details of his nakedness — which he later excuses himself for as these details are not exactly in his direct line of sight. Namely:

> 1) The tail. THE tail. The tail that is a striped brown and white thing and actually kind of interesting to look at and it waves and waves and twitches and—

Stiles puts his hand on it to keep it from moving and mentally moves on to the second item.

> 2) The ears.

The ears are colored like the tail — brown and white — and they, strangely enough, wholly replace his normal, human ears, which really makes looking in the mirror kind of bizarre. Like the tail, they twitch and move about. They also hear things really well, and Stiles has to wonder if this is what it feels like to be a werewolf. 

It's a pretty sweet mental segue into Stiles wondering if he should maybe call Scott about this.

*

"I'm a cat," is how Stiles announces the events of this morning. Scott's silence on the other end of the phone seems unimpressed, but it could be because he's not a morning person. "I have a tail." 

"Huh," Scott says. 

"I don't feel as if you're appreciating the gravity of the situation," Stiles tells him. "Allow me to reiterate: I am a cat." 

"I'm a werewolf. I don't think you'll win Most Shocking Conversation of the Year," Scott replies. 

"You're an asshole," Stiles says and hangs up on him.

*

"Maybe we should tell Derek about this," Scott suggests when he shows up at Stiles' house fifteen minutes later — looking sleepy but concerned because he is, in fact, a good friend and not an asshole. "This seems like a thing he would know about." 

"In case you haven't been around for the second season of Teen Wolf," Stiles says, "Derek's expertise is not in Knowing Things, and even if it was, his secondary expertise would not be in Telling Us Things. Thank you for your input, Scott."

"How about Deaton?" Scott asks. "Though I don't know where to find him on weekends. I'd have to wait until his office opens on Monday." 

"Yet another reason why we should appreciate my researching skills!" Stiles says with great enthusiasm and conviction. Nevertheless, a couple hours later finds Stiles staring at his computer with a deeply set frown. "All I'm getting is anime. I had no idea that cat boys were this popular." 

Scott bats at Stiles' tail. "Learn something new every day!" he says with way too much excitement. He threads Stiles' tail between his fingers.

"Stop that," Stiles says, swatting at Scott's hands when they catch at his tail and start screwing up the fur. The tail thrashes with a bit more ferocity, and this — unfortunately — delights Scott, who has always been a big fan of things that move quickly. (For instance: Allison in all aspects of her life.) 

"Dude, I'm serious," Stiles says. "Stop playing with it. I have no control over this thing. I take no responsibility if it smacks you in the face." 

Scott grins. "That's what she said!"

"Your sense of humor is crude and uncivilized, and I am ashamed to call you my friend," Stiles deadpans. "I thought we already had the conversation about how those jokes were so 2005." 

"Nope," Scott tells him and plays with the tip of Stiles' tail which is— that is— Stiles' spine tightens up by increments, and he yanks the tail out of Scott's hands and holds it protectively around his waist. 

"Must've just been me then," he grumbles.

Stiles powers through another hour of research. And by research, he means sifting through the various plots of cat boy animes, which are abundantly yaoi in content, and wondering if he's stuck as a cat boy if he doesn't find his one true boy love. It seems a little far fetched and frankly, also disheartening what with the epic failure of his one true girl love. Stiles can't imagine that the boy love will have any easier of a time.

Even with lube.

Scott, meanwhile, is flopped down in the sunspot on Stiles' bedroom floor. His continued calm in the face of what is clearly a situation that requires non-calm responses is driving Stiles up the wall — the possibility of which is now a real thing as he's noticed that he has claws (disturbingly retractable claws, to boot). 

"You shouldn't freak out about this," Scott says apropos of Stiles' spiking heartbeat, apparently. "Being part animal is totally awesome."

"Ugh, you're not helping," Stiles whines as he rolls dramatically out of his chair. It seems like a much better idea than continuing to watch Ritsuka fumble through what appears to be on-the-job training on How to Be a Better Dominant Than Your Dead Brother. "Besides your wolf thing only happens some of the time. What if this cat thing is all the time? I don't think I can live like this," he weeps into the carpet. 

"There, there," Scott says, petting between Stiles' ears.

Stiles shrugs Scott off resentfully and shoves him over so that he can steal the sunspot completely. His tail is beating against the floor in agitation, but Scott just smiles and scratches under Stiles' chin. Stiles grumbles but allows it — if only because it feels awesome. 

"I'm just saying that maybe it'll wear off, and if it doesn't by tonight, I'll find a way to get in touch with Deaton," Scott says reasonably.

"And if it is permanent?" Stiles asks because he can't not ask. He is a professional worrier. "My dad'll have to find out." 

"If it is permanent," Scott says thoughtfully as he rubs his thumb into the shell of one cat ear. Stiles may or may not sag directly into the floor, eyelashes drooping. "If it's permanent, well then. I'll just have to be wolfed out next to you. He can't freak out too bad about ears and a tail when he has to worry about my teeth, right?"

"Besides," Scott adds as he gives the nape of Stiles' neck a squeeze before petting down his back, "being part-cat could be kind of cool. I mean, what if you have nine lives now?" 

"We are never ever testing that theory," Stiles mumbles as he soaks in Scott's attention and the comfortable sunlight, not noticing the tip of his tail curling and uncurling in contentedness.

"Definitely not testing that," Scott agrees, tentatively scooting closer. "Don't need you getting ideas." 

His hand comes to a stop over Stiles' hip, rubbing soothingly, and Stiles senses more than feels the way that Scott leans in, sniffing quietly. Scott's doing his best to be unobtrusive about it, but Stiles is only half dozing to begin with. So when Scott's nose starts pressing up against his neck while his hand grips Stiles more firmly, well... 

"I take it you found something interesting," he says.

Scott's brow wrinkles. "Interesting's definitely the word for it."

"Oh god, please tell me I'm not in heat," he pleads, expression turning distraught when Scott just laughs. "This is a legit concern, dude! Do you know how many manga there are of cat boys going into heat? That is a thing that I do not need in my life right now."

"Relax," Scott says, still smiling broadly as he pets Stiles soothingly. "Boy cats don't go into heat. I thought that was common knowledge." His amusement doesn't abate even when he starts sniffing Stiles again. "It's just that you smell a lot like a cat. Like, a lot, a lot. I was just thinking that if this is permanent — and I'm not saying it is — I wanna be able to know your scent still. You know, just in case."

"Yeah?" Stiles feels totally comforted by that. He lifts his chin and bares his throat. "Can't be that different, can it?"

"Not too," Scott says, obligingly pressing his nose along Stiles' neck and breathing deeply. "You always were pretty catty for a dude."

Stiles shoves at Scott's shoulder. "Ugh, puns! You aren't allowed!" he says, rolling away and onto his side. He makes sure to stay in the sunspot though because sunspots are awesome. 

Undeterred, Scott just fits himself against Stiles' back and settles his nose against Stiles' nape. Stiles' tail curls and flips between them, and Stiles lets himself drift into a sleepy stupor again. A few minutes in, Scott's huffing laughter rouses him a little.

Sighing, Stiles braces himself. "What is it now?"

"You're purring, dude," Scott tells him softly, all joy. "It's cute."

Stiles elbows him in the side. "Shut up and cuddle me."

"Demanding," Scott grumbles, and does as he's told.


End file.
